I had a conversation recently with someone who was experiencing anxiety, which reminded me of a time when I had ME/CFS and experienced extreme anxiety.
I remember feeling as if I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel with regard to the anxiety.
A friend described it as this underlying feeling of anxiety, with no recognisable cause.
I was staying with a friend. I was going through a lot of challenges, including dealing with ME/CFS, the end of a long term relationship and I was having difficulties with a member of my family.
I tried to deal with the anxiety using techniques I knew, but wasn’t successful. Continue reading
In this post, former ME/CFS sufferer and Coach Simon Pimenta explores how people with ME/CFS can deal with external events that can be emotionally overwhelming.
I wrote this on 23 June 2016- the day that the UK voted to leave the European Union (EU), but recent events in Charlottesville and Barcelona (August 2017) prompted me to post this article.
For people experiencing ME/CFS, sometimes external events grab our attention, have an impact on our emotions and can even affect our wellbeing.
In this post, former ME/CFS sufferer and Coach Simon Pimenta explores perfectionism and strategies for dealing with perfectionism if you have ME/CFS and this trait.
Note: I am not suggesting that all people with ME/CFS have this trait. I don’t believe that to be the case. Having worked with many people with ME/CFS for 11 years, I observe that some people recognise the trait within themselves to some degree, others do not.
Are You A Perfectionist?
Actually, instead of asking ‘Are you a perfectionist?’, it might be more useful to ask ‘Do you exhibit perfectionist tendencies at times?’ as the former question labels people; it suggests that a person is always a perfectionist, which is unlikely.
Perfectionism is setting excessively high standards and going above and beyond what is required.
Perfectionists tend to: Continue reading
Recently, I bought a ready made salad with a dressing.
As I ate it, I spontaneously started thinking about my time working on a summer camp, back in the 80s.
I was curious to know where that thought came from, as it seemed to pop out of nowhere.
As I pondered this, I realised that the salad dressing was very similar to the dressing used at the summer camp!
This blew my mind, that my thinking could be triggered by a taste.
This is an example of an anchor; when a stimulus can trigger a particular response, in this case a memory.
Anchors Are Powerful
Another example is when we hear a piece of music and it instantly takes us back to a particular time in our life.
Anchors can be negative: Continue reading
Do you worry too much about what other people think?
Perhaps you are concerned that you have upset them by something you have said.
Worrying too much about what other people think can be a trait that is present in some (but not all) people with ME/CFS and in people without this condition.
It can be exhausting and a waste of energy!
5 Steps To Stop The Worry Habit
1. Recognise The Pattern
If you think you have said or done something that may have upset another person, you could ask them if you have upset them.
However, if you are doing this too often, then it may be that it is a pattern that you may find useful to break. Continue reading
Maslow’s hierarchy proposes the theory that people are motivated to meet their needs in order to thrive, from basic needs; physiological needs, to higher needs; such as self esteem, self-actualization and self-transcendence (a term he added some years after the initial model he proposed).
We all have needs, that if not met, will have consequences.
I appreciate that getting your needs met when you have ME/CFS and don’t have the support you need, can make life difficult.
Binge & Bust
One thing I noticed when I had ME/CFS, is that I would go through a cycle where I would: Continue reading
A trait often present in people with ME/CFS is that of the helper.
This is the person who is keen to help others.
It can be a good trait.
However it can also become an unhelpful one, that is detrimental to the person doing the helping, because they are not taking care of their own needs.
In this post, Coach and Trainer Simon Pimenta explores the topic of how we can shift from over-focussing on problems to being solution focussed.
Some people tend to focus on and dwell on a problem, whilst others, having identified a problem, very quickly start to focus on considering solutions.
One way of spotting when people are getting stuck on a problem, Continue reading
In this post, former ME/CFS sufferer and Coach Simon Pimenta explores the topic of:
1. What stress is
2. A simple strategy for assessing how much stress you might be experiencing
3. How you can identify strategies to reduce stress, that may result in health and energy benefits.
What Is Stress?
When I ask people this question, people will often say that stress is:
The feeling of being out of control
Sweaty palms, heart beating ten to the dozen, etc.
The really big stuff- starting a new job, moving house, giving birth, dealing with a loss
Definition Of Stress