How Good Are You At Making Decisions?
They may be small, non life changing ones; what to choose off the restaurant menu, or significant ones, whether to buy that flat or house or marry that man/woman..
Believe it or not, I have met people who find choosing what to eat at a restaurant difficult; some to the point that they choose something randomly out of desperation, and then predictably, don’t enjoy their meal.
A simple trick for those who struggle with this, is to imagine how you’d feel having eaten each choice.
When I think about my decision making process, I realise that there are times when I have been trying to make big decisions, and being faced with the decision resulted in me generating a lot of stress.
Clearly, being stressed is not the best state of mind to be in when making important decisions, especially if you are already experiencing stress, or a health challenge.
Of course, being stressed doesn’t generally help us make good quality decisions.
So what are the reasons for the stress?
It may be useful to spend a little time pondering this question to uncover your own personal reasons. They may include:
Fear
We fear making a mistake. However in life, it is important to make decisions based on the best information we have. Wrapped up in this may be some perfectionism; we put ourselves under pressure to get things right.
Also we may fear that by choosing one thing, we are excluding other possibilities. Entrepreneur Tai Lopez paints an amusing picture of a guy who is down and out and he says “I spent $300 doing a course with Tai Lopez 20 years ago, instead of training with Anthony Robbins, and life went downhill from there!”
Now, that outcome is implausible, but we can get caught up in that kind of thinking, that if I make choice X, then maybe choice Y would have been better.
Lack Of Self Trust
This may be fuelled by worrying too much about what others might think, and/or not having faith in our ability to make good quality decisions.
Inspiring Change: 12 Steps For Successful Decision Making
1. Get Into The Right Mindset
If you realise that the decision is resulting I you generating stress, focus your efforts on generating calm.
2. Trust…
That the decision will become clear to you and that you can commit to your decision.
Make decisions based on trust, not fear.
Ask “If I knew that the decision I make will be the right one, what would I decide?”
3. Get Enough Information
Ensure that you have sufficient information in order to make an informed decision.
It can be useful to get another person’s view. If we ask lots of people, then we will receive opposing views, so we need to be able to sift through the information, and identify the wheat from the chaff.
4. Avoid Information Overload
Whilst we need to get enough information, spending a long time gathering information can be overwhelming, and a way of avoiding making a decision.
5. Explore Alternative Options
Aim to come up with as many options as you can, even if some seem a bit off the wall.
6. Pros And Cons
When weighing up the pros and cons, identify the most important ones. I remember years ago a friend and I trying to decide which holiday resort to stay at. We unnecessarily procrastinated between 2 places, when the fact that one was close to the beach and the other wasn’t, really should have resulted in us deciding quickly. By the time we decided, our first choice was no longer available!
7. Practice Making Decisions
A friend once said to me that the only thing worse than making a wrong decision is not making a decision. I know that there are times when I spent too long avoiding making a decision. Sometimes it is useful to make decisions quickly. It is said that successful people make decisions quickly. However, they still make as many mistakes as others.
Sometimes we need more time to ponder. It can be helpful to set a deadline.
If you recognise that you are procrastinating about a decision that really isn’t that important, make it quickly.
8. Draw On Your Memory Bank
Recall a time you were faced with making a decision that felt challenging at the time, and you found the solution. How did you come to the point of being able to make that decision?
9. Intuition
Sometimes we need to make decisions intuitively rather than rationally. In order to do this, we need to be able to tune into our feelings, which requires a clear, calm mind, as already stated. It can be useful to process the feelings; to make sense of why we have that feeling; to check that the feelings seem valid.
10. Embrace ‘Mistakes’
Part of making decisions is that we will get them wrong sometimes. There is an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) concept that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Whilst that is sometimes a good way to look at things, there are times when I am ok about saying ‘That was a mistake’, learning from it, and moving on.
11. If In Doubt..
Do nowt (nothing). Or so the expression goes. If you still are unclear then that might be telling you something! Forcing a decision when you feel hesitant may be unhelpful. I remember a time I forced a decision, and realised after that if I had listened to my indecision and put the decision on hold, then I would have realised that there was a better option.
12. Use Your Imagination
Once you have made the decision, visualise it. Create a movie in your head, seeing it working out for you. Step into the movie, and run it a number of times until you embrace it.
In Closing
Decision making is something we can get better at. Quick decisions are not always good ones, but on the other hand, always trying to get things right, perfectionism and procrastinating are not useful.
A few quotes I like:
“Those who play badminton well take decisions quickly.”
Dmitry Medvedev
“I think that there is something beautiful about mortality. It makes our decisions mean more.”
Brandon Boyd
“There will be very few occasions when you are absolutely certain about anything. You will consistently be called upon to make decisions with limited information. That being the case, your goal should not be to eliminate uncertainty. Instead, you must develop the art of being clear in the face of uncertainty.”
Andy Stanley
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Do leave a comment on how useful you found this article or strategies you use to make decisions. I am interested in your thoughts!
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SIMON PIMENTA is a hypnotherapist, coach and trainer working with people to boost resilience and performance, and minimise stress. After working in a demanding job as the Director of a Housing Trust, he went off sick and remained unable to work for the next 8 years. He discovered a pioneering approach to resolving health issues and quickly got back his health, and now trains others using these same techniques, to help them become happier, healthier and achieve their goals.