Do you suffer from Low Self-Esteem?

I used to have low self-esteem. I didn’t feel good about myself; I had poor self-image. I would place more importance on the opinions of others than my own opinions. If someone said, ‘That shirt doesn’t suit you’, I would assume that they were right. I would talk to myself in destructive ways and would think negatively. I was a people pleaser: being super-nice in the hope that people would like me.

I would worry that something I said might have upset someone. I remember going to the Netherlands on a twin town exchange. A friend and I stayed with this great family. Henk, the guy whose house we were staying in, was great fun. After the holiday I wrote to him and his wife, saying thanks for a great time, but asking if I had upset them by something I said. He replied that he couldn’t think of anything I said that had caused offence and that his wife and family had loved having my friend and I to stay. Some time later, Henk was tragically killed in a car accident, leaving his wife with two children to bring up. This really made me realise that I was wasting time worrying about things too much, rather than just enjoying life.

My low self-esteem affected my life in lots of ways. I didn’t think that women were interested in me so I didn’t see situations where women were clearly showing interest. On one occasion, when I was in my twenties, I met an attractive woman at a party, who lived in the downstairs flat. At one point she told me that she had bought a new bed, which had a very comfortable mattress! We went to her flat and sat on her bed. At no point did it occur to me that she might be interested in me, because of my limiting belief ‘Women aren’t interested in me’! I also believed that good things would not come my way. When I look back I realise that there were many situations where I didn’t see opportunities that were right in front of me, including opportunities to make a lot of money.

When we are young, we take what others say to us without questioning. As children, we may have had the experience of a parent, teacher, sibling or someone else telling us that we are stupid, clumsy etc., and we believed them, taking on this idea wholesale. However, as we get older, especially when we are adults, our self-esteem is our responsibility.

I learned how to change how I felt about myself and how to improve my self esteem, and I truly believe that others too can rapidly improve their sel-esteem.

I have seen and helped many people to do so. I trained first as a Counsellor and then as a Hypnotherapist so that I could help others improve their self-esteem. Life is precious and some people go through their whole life being miserable because of the way they were treated as a child. If you don’t want this to be your experience then:

• Decide that you want to improve your self-esteem
• Seek out resources and people that can help you improve your self-esteem: books, self-help groups, therapists, and positive people.
• As Winston Churchill said, “Never, never, never, never give up. “You may have set backs, but keep going. I repeat: Keep Going! You deserve to feel good about yourself, so that you can share your gifts, talents and qualities.
• Avoid (like the plague) negative people.
• Remember that if someone is putting you down, this is not the behavior of a happy person who is having a great life. See my self-esteem report for more on this.
• Check out Marianne Williamson’s poem ‘Our Deepest Fear’. If you like it, print it out and put it somewhere where you can see it, and keep referring to it. NB I don’t do religion, it does mention God, don’t be put off by that if you aren’t religious.

I have written a free report ‘Six Steps To High Self-Esteem’. In it I expand on the above ideas. You can download a free copy by going to my website subscribing to my newsletter on my website  www.inspiringchange.co.uk and enter your email in the box to be put on my mailing list. I will not pass your details on to anyone else, ever.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my report. Contact me if you would like to know more about the work I do.

Simon Pimenta