Coach and Trainer Simon Pimenta discusses why ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia sufferers need to think about the conversations we are having with ourselves when we wake up.
You wake up. What is the first thing you do?
Do you check your phone, to see who’s messaged you, or to find out what your friends have been up to on Facebook that you have missed out on.
Or, if you are like me when I was ill with ME/CFS, and like many other people I have worked with, the first thing you do is to think about ME/CFS or Fibromyalgia.
You check your body, you find symptoms, and then inwardly feel a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. Does that sound familiar?
These responses are totally understandable, but they are unhelpful, because whatever we practice, we get good at.
This is neuroplasticity; every time we use the brain, it builds connections.
So if we keep repeating that unhelpful routine, the brain learns that this is what we should do when we wake up.
When you are resting in bed, what conversations are you having with yourself?
Are you having calm, relaxing thoughts, or are you lying there feeling frustrated, fed up annoyed.
In the article Dealing With A Relapse I talk about how our thoughts and feelings can actually worsen your symptoms, and I share strategies that may help how we handle the relapse, and influence our recovery from the relapse.
Changing Unhelpful Routines
In order to break out of unhelpful patterns, we need to:
1. Identify The Unhelpful Routine
If you recognise that the first thing that you do when you wake up is to think about the symptoms and then feel frustrated, spend some time thinking about what thoughts are going through your head.
2. Identify A More Useful Response
Brainstorm a range of ideas for how you might respond to that situation.
3. Take Action To Create New Routines
In order to create a new routine, we need to decide to change this habit and practice new responses until they become second nature.
People will say “It’s hard to do this”. I didn’t promise it would be easy. It can take a bit of effort to break a habit, but can you afford not to? Consider the following:
“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.” Richard Bach
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” Henry Ford
Making change requires persistence! You can do it. Just do your best each day; do what you can.
Changing Our Wake Up Routine
Applying these ideas to waking up, consider adopting the following strategies. You don’t have to apply all of them at once. Start with the one that you think may be most useful.
1. Create A New Story
Step 1. Get 2 pieces of paper.
Step 2. On one write ‘Old Story’. Write down all the unhelpful thoughts that go through your head on waking up.
Step 3. On the second piece of paper, write ‘New Story’. Write down all the things you could be saying to yourself that would be more useful. It could be:
“I am calm”
“I trust in my body’s ability to heal”
“Today I will approach things in a calm manner”
“I can take things in my stride”.
Step 4. Each morning, read out the new story. You may repeat this in the evening before you go to bed, and other times of the day, for instance after or even during your rest time. If resting you can say it in your head, once it is committed to memory.
2. Flood your brain with useful words.
A client identified the following strategy. She decided that when she awoke, to counteract her unhelpful thinking patterns, by saying to herself “Calm, peace, relaxed, positive, optimistic, quiet, still etc”.
She would keep saying these words to herself each day, to start the day in a better state of mind.
Some people may say “But I’m not feeling that way”. That’s a reasonable response, but bear in mind that our thinking is habitual, the more we think a certain way, the more that it becomes a habit.
3. Plan Some Goals For The Day
These will very from person to person, as each person has different abilities. It doesn’t matter how small they are. It might be:
• Wash my hair
• Do 5 minutes relaxation 1-3 times a day
• Do 1 minute of stretching
• Go for a walk for 1 minute
• Go for a walk for 30 minutes
4. Access Useful States
Trainer Anthony Robbins suggests accessing useful states. For each state, remember a time you experienced feeling this way, as if you are there.
Take on the posture and facial expression, and breathe the way you breathe when you feel this way.
Squeeze two fingers together as you access the state.
This is called an anchor; when you associate one thing- for instance a feeling, with another; squeezing fingers together.
Add each one to the states you have already accessed, to build up these feelings.
i. Access Confidence And Un-stop-ablity
Think of a time you felt confident, that nothing would stop you from achieving your goal
ii. Feeling Totally Loved
Think of the people who love you and are rooting for you, or imagine people who when they get to know you, will be on your side.
iii. Laughter
Remember a time when you were laughing, feeling good, having fun.
iv. Happiness And Joy
Remember a time when you were feeling this way. Let a smile spread over your face.
v. Gratitude
Feel gratitude for who you are, what you have in your life, be grateful that you are alive.
5. Use Visualisation
Having got into good states, now visualise your day going the way you would like it to be, seeing yourself responding to whatever situations you might face in a calm, resourceful manner.
Visualisation is powerful!
Unfortunately, people often spend time visualising negative scenarios, rather than positive ones.
Deciding to break those unhelpful routines, and putting in the work to establish useful routines, may take some time.
Humans can be creatures of habit, and part of us may resist doing something different, but once the routine is established, it will become habitual.
For more information about forming good habits, check out this article ‘Good Habits For Self Esteem and Confidence
6. Use Music
Someone I know plays James Brown “I feel good” every morning when he wakes up and dances along to it.
Doing that, if you can, is going to make a difference!
What track would you choose?
Another person I know gets up, stands in front of the mirror, and does a little song and dances as she sings to herself “You can do it!”
Do whatever works for you!
Here is a short video in which Anthony Robbins talks you through some techniques to start your day well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZneuvsmIOQ4
It is a bit dated, but still of value. Enjoy!
Comments
Feel free to let me know what your unhelpful habits are and any positive changes you have made, either of your own volition, or as a result of this article.
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SIMON PIMENTA is a hypnotherapist, coach and trainer working with people to boost resilience and performance, and minimise stress. After working in a demanding job as the Director of a Housing Trust, he went off sick and remained unable to work for the next 8 years. He discovered a pioneering approach to resolving health issues and quickly got back his health, and now trains others using these same techniques, to help them become happier, healthier and achieve their goals.