We all need to rest.

If you have limited energy, are recovering from a health condition, are a perfectionist or ‘driven’ personality, rest is crucial, because it allows the body to recharge.

When the body is relaxed, it activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PN), which in turn allows the body to do a number of important tasks, including:

1. Digesting food properly, providing the body with the building blocks for energy creation.

2. Producing and storing energy.

Taking Time Out

I recall someone talking about an athlete who realised that he had not understood the importance of rest and recognised that pushing himself too hard physically had been detrimental to his performance and wellbeing.

I also remember sharing a house with a woman who had an interesting approach to rest. 

She was a busy professional, who had an active social life, worked out and lived life to the full. 

Every now and then would have a day or even a weekend where she would rest completely. 

She would spend a lot of time in her room in bed, just taking it easy. 

She might spend the whole day there doing nothing but resting, meditating, only to emerge in the evening perhaps to go out.

She seemed to know instinctively when to take time out.

She was rarely unwell. 

When talking to people with ME/CFS, I have found that many people don’t:

1. Allow Themselves To Rest

Often people push through, even when their body is telling them to stop. Of course there may be times when you have to keep going, because you have children, or for some other reason.

2. Rest Properly

Often when people describe what happens when they rest, it is clear that they are not resting. Their mind is not actually switching off.

3. Know What Rest Is

People often think that certain activities qualify as rest, but actually those activities are not restful!

What Rest Is Not

1. Watching TV

Processing moving, ever changing images uses up lots of energy!

So if your energy is already limited, watching TV can be draining.

If what you are watching is adrenaline inducing, for example an action or horror movie, this is activating your fight or flight mechanism.

I am assuming that you have now read my free report ‘ME/CFS A Piece Of The Jigsaw’, so are now well versed into the effects of activating the fight of flight mechanism.

If you haven’t read it, you can access it here 

Read page 13 for a summary of the effects.

It will take 2-3 minutes, if that!

When I had ME/CFS, I didn’t watch much TV.

It was tough, not being able to watch TV, as I liked the stimulation and escapism that it brought.

2. Being On A Computer

Again, the processing of images uses up energy.

3. Chatting To Friends

Talking to friends on the phone or in person can be stimulating.

That’s not to say that you mustn’t do it.

We all need human contact.

It’s just that it doesn’t count as rest!

4. Reading

Whilst this is not as stimulating as watching TV, it still isn’t resting your body and mind.

5. Lying In Bed Worrying Or Chastising Yourself 

I suspect that many of us have done this.

You overdo it and you lie there telling yourself what an idiot you are.

Obviously, generating stress is not restful.

8 Simple Steps For Quality Rest

1. Get It Out Of Your Head

If you have a lot going on in your head, it can be really useful to write it down, often called journaling.

Journaling has health benefits.

I talk more about journaling in this article

2. Sit or Lie Down

3. Close your Eyes

Most people feel comfortable closing their eyes.

Very occasionally, I have come across people who don’t like closing their eyes to meditate.

If you prefer keeping them open, do that.

4. Meditate 

Allocate a period of time, once twice or more times a day to practice meditation.

You might start with 5 minutes and increase the time as you see fit.

Doing it for 20-30 minutes, twice a day, or even less, can be beneficial.

I offer 3 once hour coaching sessions every week, in which I share a simple relaxation exercise (see the appendix of the free report).

I get the person to do the relaxation exercise for just one minute.

People are often surprised by the relaxing effect.

I have had clients tell me that they can’t relax, who then realise after one minute that they can.

The meditation can be:

i. A Guided Meditation

There are many available on Youtube

A client shared the above link for ’10 Best Guided Meditations.’

I have not checked them out, so find what works for you.

Obviously, as already suggested, don’t watch the screen.

There is an app called Headspace that has different meditations. (I don’t benefit financially from this company).

ii. A Meditation/Relaxation Practice

You can practice a simple meditation technique. 

Example 1:

As you breathe in and out, count one.

Repeat with each breath, until you get to 10.

Then start again.

If you lose your place, or catch yourself thinking about something, let it go, and go back to the counting.

Example 2:
As you breathe in, in your mind say “Rising, rising.”
As you breathe out, in your mind say “Falling, falling.”

As already mentioned, check out the appendix of my free report for 2 more techniques.

5. Use Music

Listen to peaceful, restful music.

6. Use Visualisation

Remember a time when you felt relaxed, as if you are there.

See the things that you see in that place, the sounds you hear, and get in touch with the physical sensations.

So if I take myself to a beach, then I see the blue sky, the crystal clear water.

I hear the sounds of the waves, and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and the contact between my body and the sun lounger.

As I breathe out, I say to myself in my mind;

“The sky is a beautiful shade of blue.”

I breathe in and out again, and as I breathe out, I say:

“The water is crystal clear.”

I continue in this way, focussing on each of these elements: the things I see, hear, feel.

Try it.

I find it very relaxing.

7. Save 20%

Some people give or use up 110% of the energy.

They wonder why they have nothing left.

Dr Sarah Myhill advocates that people with ME/CFS should aim to only use 80% of their energy.

This leaves 20% of the available energy to focus on healing.

Actually I think that every one would benefit from only using 80% of their energy as much as is possible.

It’s like putting money in the bank, so that we have reserves to draw on when needed.

If a person uses up 100% or more of their energy, then I suspect it will require more energy to recharge their flat battery than it would if they left some in reserve.

If that is something you do- continually leaving yourself with a flat battery, I believe that this is hindering your recovery.

8. Pomodoro Technique

One way to assist in achieving saving some of our energy is the Pomodoro technique.

This method advocates working in short, focussed time blocks, then taking breaks. 

I find that if I spend too long on a task without a break, my productivity falls.

So for example, you might set the timer for 25 minutes, and work without distraction on a project/activity. 

Then you take a break- however long you feel you need.

Of course, there may times that you don’t need to rest, but just need a break to make a cup of tea, etc…

Some people reading this are probably thinking “25 minutes is a very short period of time. I usually do something for 1, 2 hours….”

Consider though that:

1. Your productivity probably dwindles.

2. Working in short blocks the taking a break may actually boost productivity and energy.

3. You may find that over the course of the day that your energy levels remain good rather than you feeling more tired at the end of the day. 

4. You can play around with the times. You might decide to work for 40 minutes, then take a 5 – 20 minute break. 

See what works for you…

In Closing 

Do your best to calm your mind using any of the above techniques to achieve quality rest.

This is an important part of self care when you are unwell.

However, what is going on when you are not resting is also important!

If you find it difficult to relax, be in no doubt that this is not helping your body heal.

If you recognise that stress is affecting you, commit to addressing it.

Get help if necessary.

To discover some of the powerful effects of relaxation, check out this blog:

ME/CFS, Relaxation & Your Genes

Comment

Are these issues that are affecting you? Do leave a comment on how useful you found this article. I am interested in your thoughts.

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  SIMON PIMENTA is a hypnotherapist, coach and trainer working with people to boost resilience and performance, and minimise stress. After working in a demanding job as the Director of a Housing Trust, he went off sick and remained unable to work for the next 8 years. He discovered a pioneering approach to resolving health issues and quickly got back his health, and now trains others using these same techniques, to help them become happier, healthier and achieve their goals.