ME/CFS/FM: Why I Got Sick

 

When people asked why I got sick, the 2 main reasons I would give were:

1. I Got A Virus

This is what I used to say to people when I first got ill.

I remember the day I was at a friend’s house that precipitated me going off sick.

It was November.

I recall feeling cold, and not saying anything for a while.

By the time I told my friend that I was cold, I had got a chill and didn’t feel too good.

I now realise that I was being over-polite, not looking after my needs.

Whilst may not be a trait of all people with ME/CFS, having worked with lots of people with ME/CFS for the last 10 years, I know that some people do have the trait of not wanting to ‘make a fuss’.

The next day I felt very unwell, with flu-like symptoms.

After a few days off work, I went back but then felt ill again.

So after trying to go back to work a few times and still feeling unwell, I decided that I wouldn’t go back to work until I felt completely better.

Little did I know that that was the beginning of 8 years of ME/CFS.

With the benefit of hindsight, I realise that saying “I got a virus” was an incomplete answer.

It is perhaps a piece of the jigsaw, but there are definitely other pieces.

I say this because people get viruses all the time, but for many people, it doesn’t result in years of debilitating illness. There were periods where I couldn’t even walk for one minute.

2. I Had A Stressful Job

After I got sick, I read a very interesting book called Managing Stress by Ursula Markham.

In the book, she provides statistics of the cause of death from various diseases according to what job you do.

A cheerful topic I know!

Anyway, for company directors, the stats shot through the roof.

I was a director of a housing trust and during the period that I had that job, my health did deteriorate.

Prior to taking on this job, I had been in robust health, playing football, tennis, cycling a lot and having an active social life.

However whilst the statistics show that if you are a director of the company, you are more at risk of various diseases, not everyone who has that position develops those conditions.

I now realise that saying “A stressful job caused ME/CFS” was an incomplete the answer.

So again it feels like that was a piece of the jigsaw, but not the whole story.

Holistic Answer

Some people think of their health in terms of the ‘Medical Model’, which is based on the germ theory- it is germs and other agents that make us ill.

Embracing the Medical Model can result in people looking to doctors and scientists to ‘fix us’.

Hopefully, you can see that this can be a limiting way of thinking about our health.

An alternative model of health is a holistic approach. This looks at a range of factors that affect health; including diet, lifestyle, environment and heredity.

With the benefit of hindsight, I now realise that there were a number of factors that contributed towards my illness:

1. A Stressful Job
It is true that my job as Director of a Housing Trust was stressful.

My health deteriorated over a period of 3-4 years whilst in this role.

However, I think a number of factors contributed towards the job of being stressful.

2. Anxiety And Worry
I probably had the tendency to worry too much about what other people thought.

In my work life, this meant that I didn’t make decisions based on my instincts.

This made my job more difficult.

3. People Pleaser
I probably had the tendency to be a bit of a people pleaser, which meant that sometimes I didn’t put my needs first.

4. Not Saying No
Sometimes I wasn’t very good at saying no to people, so tried to do more than my body could cope with.

5. Not Knowing When To Stop
I had the tendency to burn the candle at both ends.

Whilst factors 2-5 existed before I took on this role, the additional stress of the job in combination with those pre-existing factors took its toll on me.

I now see that getting a virus when I was already struggling with my health was just the final straw.

Here’s the thing.

Your body will let you know when you are over-doing it.

To begin with, it will give you subtle messages.

We often ignore the whispers, so the body has to scream, or it will go on strike.

Only then, do we listen.

Hopefully.

I believe that understanding these factors, and addressing them played a part in my recovery.

For instance:

1. Having ME forced me to get better at saying no.

2. I also stopped being a ‘people pleaser’.

3. I stopped worrying as much about what others thought.

For example, I stopped endlessly explaining the illness to people.

In fact, as I started to get well, I could see more clearly how these factors had impacted, and could continue to impact on my health, if unaddressed.

So you may want to consider:

What factors can you identify that may have contributed to getting sick?

What positive steps have you taken, or can you take to address those issues?

 

Wishing you good health!

Simon

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ME/CFS: A Piece Of The Jigsaw? FREE Report
In this report, I share information which took me 8 years of ME/CFS to find, that I believe was important to my recovery.

If you haven’t read it yet, I would invite you to. It’s not a long read, around 15 minutes or so.

You can access it via the homepage
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SIMON PIMENTA is a hypnotherapist, coach and trainer working with people to boost resilience, and minimise stress. After working in a demanding job as the Director of a Housing Trust, he went off sick and remained unable to work for the next 8 years.

He discovered mind/body techniques that he believes helped him recover his health, and developed the Building Resilience course,  designed to help others achieve their goals.